I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
