I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
