i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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