I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
