when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
