Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
