Swine flu. Run for my life!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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