their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
