id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
