all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
