just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
