it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
