my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
