weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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