I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
