I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
