apparently the secret to your success is patron
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
