I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
