How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
