tell your sister to shave her snatch
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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