I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
