Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
