I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
