Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
