I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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