new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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