We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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