Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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