Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need to align my fucking chakras
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
