can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
