nut hugger
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My penis needs a shock collar
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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