well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
