So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
