I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
