I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
