Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
