i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
