Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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