Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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