good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
