im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Im part way to drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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