you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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