I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
