FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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