do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
