awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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