You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
