Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
