also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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