that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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