GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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