I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
