My brain says no but my pants say off.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
