the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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