Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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