sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
