He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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