I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
