i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
